Sabriya of Shanghai - Journal Entry 2

I have finished the preliminary plotting for my novel about Sabriya of Shanghai. Let me share what I've done in the last few days.

Steps 1-7: (discussed in blog post Journal Entry 1)  I constructed a slide in Keynote (4000 pixels x 2500 pixels) and divided the slide into 21 columns, each corresponding to the 21 macro beats of the story I intend to write. These would be the same 21 beats I'd use for a screenplay and are a reliable structure into which to drop particular story beats (or cards), a process called "breaking the story," i.e. I'm breaking down the story into relatable chunks, scenes, or events.

Step 8

Figure 1

Figure 1 shows how I parsed the formerly written movie treatment for Sabriya into 87 smaller beats, each closely associated with scenes. I'll end up with 100–120 such beats after the manuscript is written as many of the beats in the middle of the story (and above graphic) are summarized.

The first column of the above figure is the "Prologue" or back story that proceeds the present day beats. The events  in the Prologue are necessary to fully understanding the drama that unfolds later.  Years ago I considered that the prologue story could be told as flashbacks during the telling of the present day story. I imagine that withholding the backstory at first, and revealing it slowly through flashbacks will create additional intrigue. In story time there is perhaps a 10-year gap  between the end of the Prologue and the beginning of the next column known as "Life before" or the first half of Act 1. 

Step 9

Figure 2

I decided to disburse the prologue beats throughout the present day story as a slowly revealed series of flashbacks. So, I turned them green for clarity. Not very evident in Figure 2 is that I clumped the Prologue beats into six clumps each clump occurring chronologically close in time. Thus, the Prologue can be considered to contain just six beats. 

Step 10

Figure 3

I realized that that the structure template I'm using contains six natural turning point beats starting with (1) Act 1's Climax and the Threshold crossing into Act 2, and then (2) Pinch Point B, (3) the Moment of Grace, (4) Pinch Point C, (5) Act 2 Climax, and (6) Pinch Point D. [Pinch Point A is the same as the Inciting Incident in the middle of Act 1.]

Those critical turning points, or possible reversals, would be excellent places to tigger the flashbacks that reveal Sabriya's present day motivation due to her backstory. So, in Figure 3, I slid the six Prologue Clumps over those turning point columns. I am not sure what the present day action will be in Sabriya's experience to trigger her memory of her past, but figuring that out seems like a minor concern at this point.

I now have a structure that will create a great rollercoaster ride of action and emotion for the reader, and reveal the back story as motivations for the present day story.

NEXT I need to analyze the above beat structure to ensure the protagonist and antagonist actions are consistently and evenly applied along the through-line of the story—the rescuing of Sabriya's secret son from the boy's father, a leader in the S.E. Asia human trafficking trade.

AFTERTHOUGHT: By moving the prologue into six flashbacks, I need to redistribute the word counts, taking the 4-5 words reserved for the Prologue and assigning them to the turning point columns where the flashbacks will occur. 

Development of a Novel - Sabriya of Shanghai - Journal Entry 1

Not sure if I'll be able to keep up this journal, but I'll try.  Writing a novel is a long affair and there are many interruptions, blogging being one of them and staring at a blank page another. There's a solution to both. Starting today I try to share how you can eliminate the latter, and strengthen your linear storytelling mind. The foundation of this is my book The Moral Premise and the extensive resources of this blog, my on-line Storycraft Training series, and years of  experience working as a story and screenplay consultant.

The novel I've started and which this journal will follow is Sabriya. It's the story of an elegant Chinese woman, a skilled practitioner of the hidden martial art Wing Chun, who marries a young British diplomat to Shanghai, then risks her marriage and scandalizing Her Majesty's Diplomatic Service when she creates not a little mayhem around Shanghai trying to rescue her secret son from his ruthless father who has become the chief of a human trafficking syndicate dealing in youth for labor, sex, and  harvested organs.

Step 1 - Pick a Successful Antecedent

Sabriya of Shanghai (SOS) was originally a treatment for a martial arts thriller movie set in S.E. Asia. I wrote it on spec for a potential client, but when he went in another direction I retained ownership. The antecedent for the treatment is Taken, the 2008 thriller written by Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen, directed by Pierre Morel, and starring Liam Neeson. Taken was so successful there were two equally successful sequels. So, I designed the beats of the new story on Taken but I made it different—I changed the location from France to China; I changed the male lead to female; I changed the kidnapped victim from a daughter to a son, and I changed the lead's expertise from a being secret spy to a secret form of martial arts.  

Step 2 - Select a Practical Medium

Having no money to make a film, and having written several novels, and non-fiction projects, it was time to transform SOS from a film treatment into a motion picture thriller.  The first question was, how long of a novel?   My three previous fictional efforts were 30,000, 57,000, and 372,00 words. I could not get traditional agents or publishers to consider the 372.000 project, and no one was interested in a novella. Agents told me 70K–90K was an ideal length. So, I settled (arbitrarily) on 72,000 words, knowing I'd go long. 

Step 3 - Structure - Use a Successful Structure

I will use a high-level, generic structure used successfully in long-form stories of all genres, and which has proved accurate in hundreds of box office hits and best selling novels. The structural sequence uses 21 beats for the through-line. I describe these beats in various places and detail elsewhere on this blog and fundamentally in The Moral Premise. The percentages and word lengths (based on 72,000) were calculated with the Excel spread imaged below. Thus, this level of detail decision making was not made arbitrarily. I will write the first draft in Scrivener who allows me to set word limits for each document—in this case each of the 21 major beats that vary in length from 1,00 to 5,000 words. 

Step 4 - Create Template for Carding (or Breaking) the Story Beats

Over the  years, I have set up structural templates on door walls with 3"x5" cards and masking tape, on large wooden folding closet doors,  painted walls with the pictures removed, on black landscaped 4 'x 8' Gatorfoam Board with Post-It Notes, on portrait 4' x 8' Masonite on wheels with Post-It Notes, and in Apple's Keynote,  which I am using on SOS. (image below)

I have come to prefer Apple's Keynote (Appel's answer to PowerPoint for Mac users like me), with a single slide dimensions set to 6000 x 2500 pixels.  I can type, transform, and copy Keynote cards faster than writing with a marker on physical Post-Its. When other people are in the room for a story meeting, however, one of the 4' x 8' boards works best with physical Post-Its—we can all see the beats at once, and anyone can jump up and make a change on the large board (or wall).

Below is the beginning of the story breakdown. Each "card" represents a scene, each column is one of the 21 macro story beats. 

For SOS I've chosen to break the story into columns from left (beginning of story) to right (end of story). The column widths (defined by white lines) are the relative duration of the beat. The image above shows the first 10 beats, with "cards" filled in for the first 4 beats (Prologue through Reject the Journey).  The numbers 4.5, 9, 15, etc are the running total of words (in 000s) to the end of the beat where they're placed. These numbers will differ from the Excel chart as I've changed my mind about some lengths.

Step 5 - Card the Story

The first (or left) column is the Prologue. I have created cards for each micro beat (or scene) of the treatment, and placed them in chronological order from top to bottom, whereupon the story continues in the next column (Life Before).  The row of short color cards at the top is my color key for different characters. If I want to place a card for a character that is not already on the board, I can option-drag one of the color key cards to copy the card, stretch it as wide as the column and start typing. You'll notice most of the cards have gradated colors—the first time I've used them. The top and bottom colors indicate the two principle characters that appear in that beat. I will continue to fill in this story board based on each beat present in the treatment.  

Each card above begins with a number, which is the line number of the earlier written treatment. See image with "greek" words.

Step 6 - Analyze the Structure

Why do all this carding of each scene on a board with the macro beats? First, the board will act as a living outline that will be open while I write the manuscript. Second, it's important that I study the outline before I begin to write and look for plot holes that need to be filled. I might ask, "Does the antagonist appear ubiquitously and frightfully?  The display and spread of colors will indicate the presence or absence of a character in each beat. In the illustration above Sabriya is light yellow and the the antagonist is red. If there is part of the story where no red grading appears nor light-yellow appears, I know immediately where and what I need to fix. For example, Sabriya should be present in 75% of the cards. Does she? If not, I need to broaden her appearance before I start to write. 

Step 7 - Fix the Structure Before Writing

Based on the previous step, I will make changes to the story board before writing. Knowing what's going to happen and when, allows me to expertly place foreshadowing and resolution information and scenes that deepens the intrigue and reader's enjoyment. 

That's where I am. Please post your questions and follow my journey. 

Using A.I. for Book Jackets & Illustrations

Artificial Intelligent applications have greatly broadened the landscape for us creative types,  although there's one area where I find AI degrading. 

Yes, I have enjoyed the enhancement in entertainment that AI brings, not only in narrative motion pictures where it can create vivid and visceral imaginative worlds, but in silly social media posts of things like Olympic pool diving cats and talking babies that look at public figures. Unfortunately, the nefarious applications lie close at hand, intent on corrupting civilization. Won't be the first thing. 

Books and AI 

I've been writing books lately. When submitting manuscripts to publishers there's always the question, "Did you use A.I. in the creation of any portion of this manuscript?" It's a sad but necessary question. It's in the writing of what should be original and creative works that I found AI repulsive. I'm quick to answer "NO." to the question.  I could not imagine a novel that had any creative or original punch that was written by AI. I do not believe it's possible, even with the ubiquitous advertising of claims to the opposite.  AI is great for pattern recognition tasks, but it cannot think originally. Indeed, AI is currently only able to composite what others have thought up in the past. AI is the opposite of original thinking.

So, I was gratified this morning when I stumbled across an Instagram post about a New MIT report on how ChatGPT is eroding critical thinking skills of its users. I followed the link to the TIME Magazine report. Here's a quote and link.

ChatGPT users had the lowest brain engagement and “consistently underperforned at neural, linguistic, and behavioral levels.” Over the course of several months, ChatGPT users got lazier with each subsequent essay, often resorting to copy-and-paste by the end of the study. (Link to TIME  article on the report.)

The MIT study was examining the writing of SAT essays, which, of course, negates the whole purpose of a SAT essays—can you think originally (and write) on your own. 

Bias Alert: I Can Write but I Can't Draw

So, while I can write, I can't draw very well. I rationalize using AI (Microsoft's Copilot with Adobe's Photoshop) to help me create covers and dust jackets for books and to help illustrate projects for which visuals do not exist. Here are some examples for which I take NO CREDIT other than being able to prompt the drawing engines with words.    

For the Angel Quest Documentary (Link) 

For Wizard Clip Haunting Alternative Book Covers (Link)

For Forthcoming Novel Covers: Tiger's Hope and Wizard Clip Haunting Jr (YA&YR)

The Tiger's Hope cover was imported to Photoshop to adjust over all color, shadows and then to add the text. Publishers are considering, but nothing soon and if they accept I'm sure they won't use the above image. 

The Wizard Clip Haunting Jr. cover is further along with my distribution company, Nineveh's Crossing. I just ordered the first case from Ingramspark our POD printer and distributor. Here's what the front, back, and spine will look like.

How I Created This Cover with AI and Photoshop

The image of Eve (12) and Henry (9) came from Microsoft Pilot on the first prompt that went something like this: "Draw me a picture of a 1797, 12-year old farm girl and her 9-year old brother. They're standing in a field of flax and looking scared."  The word "scared" evidently triggered a restriction and Copilot refused to draw anything. So I changed the word from "scared" to looking up in awe," and what you see above as the base image is what came back. I then realized that Eve's secret weapon was prayer, so I wrote a followup prompt: "The girl should be holding a black prayer book." The book showed up under her arm as you see it. I then wrote: "There should be a crescent moon in the sky." The moon came back but it was in the middle of the image. I left it there for the time being. I then wrote, "Put a two story farm house and barn in the background." Copilot it did. All the images returned were square and did not lend themselves to a vertical oriented book cover (5"x 7"). So I wrote: "Add space at the top of the image for the title of a book." The vertical portrait aspect ratio above returned, which I could use, so I downloaded it.

For the back page of the jacket I wrote, "Delete the children in the foreground and the farmhouse and barn in the background, and add a vertically standing white, limestone tombstone in the foreground, and put a tree growing behind it."  What returned I downloaded. There was two or three other iterations where I asked for a creek with boulders along its bank...but I didn't like the creek, so I told Copilot to erase the creek. 

I then merged the two images in Photoshop. They were different in intensity, so I softened the edge with Photoshop's Clone Stamp Tool with a large soft edge, then I cut out and moved the moon over, used the clone stamp to mend the hole the moon had created, adjusted the overall tone, hue, intensity, and color to my liking and added the text, and I found a Jerusalem Cross (.png) on line, and added it to the book. Originally, the cross was on top of Eve's arms, so I erased the parts of the cross that were on her arms, and then darkened the cross, and made it mostly transparent so it looked like it was always part of the black book.

I guess I should add that the entire process was built on a template from Ingram that was generated for the 5x7 trim size of the book, and with a  .433" spine. When you request the template from Ingram, the generator asks for the ISBN number (I have a library of numbers I bought years ago from Broker), the final trim size, and the number of pages. To know the number of pages you first have to lay out the book. I use InDesign. When I was done I had 172 pages. Ingram also asks for a paper selection (I chose groundwood).

I hope this was informative. 

STORY FORCES

 

It's time to revisit the most basic concepts behind successful stories—the forces that make stories work. There are more sophisticated ways of diagraming the above, just search Google images for "story through-lines."  If you follow this blog you've see the following more complex renditions of "The 13/20 Roller Coaster Beats," or posts on how to intertwine subplots so they support the same plot.  The BASICS never change as I've tried to diagram above:

• NOBLE (or villainous) VALUES always drive the
• Protagonist's or Hero's decisions and action, that are always obstructed by an
• Antagonistic or Villainous force, in an effort by the Protagonist or Hero to always achieve a
• NOBLE (or villainous) GOAL

NOT diagramed above are subtleties critical to a cathartic story structure:

• Noble Values always reflect NEEDS required for human survival.
• Ignoble Values always reflect WANTS that lead to human destruction.
• At first the protagonist is often motivated by a WANT but... 
• Close to the story's midpoint (The Moral Premise's "Moment of Grace") the protagonist comes to realize the difference between their WANT and their NEED.  
• The protagonist may be a heroic or a tragic character (but always opposite the antagonist).
• The antagonist may be a heroic or a tragic character (but always opposite the protagonist).

The above diagram relates the never changing forces of a successful story. The above diagram is the most simple illustration of the through-line, the plot, the backbone, the theme, or the moral premise. But there can be sub through-lines related to various subplots, and all tied together with supportive themes, and Nicomachean Moral Premises. (I've blog extensively about all this before.) A story becomes interesting when the through-lines, plots, and theme are imbued with irony, motifs, red-herrings, and secrets.

For example, there can be, in one story the:

• physical through-line of the main plot
• emotional through-line of the central protagonist
• symbolic through-line of various 3-beat motifs
• thematic (moral premise) through-line of the protagonist
• secret through-line of information held back from the audience

But in the end there ALWAYS must be:

VALUES that motivate the PROTAGONIST to battle the ANTAGONIST in order to achieve an GOAL.

In a redemptive story the value and goal are noble and focus on a NEED.

In a tragic story the value and goal are scandalous and focus on a WANT. 

The are almost 400 posts in this free blog that discuss these issues. My book, The Moral Premise sets forth the foundation for all successful stories. My free Storycraft Training series dives deep into these topics. And I'm sometimes available for story/screenplay consulting on specific projects.