Recently, Rich submitted a recent draft to the International Screenwriters Association (ISA) for their Development Slate. Yesterday, he received notice that WHEN WE WERE GODS is in the finals for that consideration. The coverage of the script was the most extensive and glowing that we've received.
Now, let me clarify my participation in this effort. I am NOT the writer. The story is entirely Rich's. My contribution has been to the screenplay's structure, format, and grammar. I did make three detailed passes on the script making hundreds of very small but nuanced changes in an effort to make the read efficient, visual, and empathic. If I had a suggestion to move or delete a scene, Rich had to agree beforehand, and often he would make the change and improve it still. The whole process went back and forth dozens of times.
So, it's refreshing to read coverage that appreciates our hard work. Here are excerpts from ISA:
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Excerpts from ISA Development Slate Evaluation
OVERALL
Initially, we did worry about the page count. It sits right at 120. … However, as we finished the script, we found…a deeply involved story that calls for some deeply involved moments. The standing count is fully justified.
…the scenes are wonderfully crafted and boast some impressive visuals.
The script has a polished look and feel… It is a genuine pleasure to read a script that is this well cared for.
CONCEPT
Conceptually speaking, there is a lot to like here. The era and setting are wonderfully established. The story is rich with conflict.
When We Were Gods is the sort of script that could easily get attention and for a number of reasons. To start with, there is a strong redemptive theme here. Höss is not a bad man, but a good man led into doing bad things. And what really works here is that the writer doesn’t over explore this theme. It simply lies there on the surface of the page, waiting for the reader to acknowledge it. The writer has a subtle style that really pushes these scenes together in unexpected ways.
So, we have religion and hope clashing against the regime of the Nazi empire in a compact setting. The building drama is thick, palpable. And the accompanying visuals that push the story are bold and telling.
When We Were Gods would easily affect a wide demographic. Though this takes place 80 years ago, the elements here are just as human as any who stand today. Man is capable of all the best and worst things. And man must be held accountable for it all.
STRUCTURE
The writer does a good job of providing for structure. The acts each openly support one another, and the result is a story that is well-paced and progresses naturally, without any hindrances to slow or disrupt it.
We were quickly impressed with the writer’s ability to provide for imagery. … Here, instead of dialogue, the scene focuses on a note passed from one character to another. Little is said but the note really seals the moment. Kolbe is a quieted man of intellect and this scene exemplifies the nature of his character with very little being said.
…there is a lot of building drama as we move through the conflict and towards the resolution. So much is happening and so quickly. Höss’s beating of Kolbe suddenly turned the story on a dime.
The closing here is impressive. At first, we thought the writer overstepped. The shot of the dandelions seemed an impressive choice to close on, but the writer kept going. We were unsure of this choice, even after the first pass. We then read the last two scenes again and, well, wow. Visually, this would be heart wrenching to see on the screen. This not a very practical choice to close on but the artistry of the scene, of the imagery is impressive.
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
These are strong characters. Seriously. …To tell a story like this with anything less would be a disservice to the tragedies of the time.
Höss is a remarkable protagonist. At first, we expected a very predictable arc. It’s easy enough to predict, considering the obvious redemptive tone here that is set early on with Hedwig’s closing line on page 3. And yet, there is more subtlety here than we expected and that’s what makes this story work so well.
PAGE WORK/VOICE
The writer has a strong voice for the genre. The mechanics here are quite good. The direction is concise, sharp and to the point. We see, with ease, the writer’s vision. As well, dialogue also proves to be very good. The characters interact quickly and with relevance. The scenes are not bogged down with needless prose and monologues.
Imagery rules the day here. There are some solid visuals that really sell the story and would impress upon the screen. The writer clearly knows how to take full advantage of the medium and in a way that would impress an audience/viewer.
Dialogue is quite good. The writer does a nice job here, allowing the characters to speak for themselves. Often, a writer might think, ‘what do I want to say here?’ but that is the wrong question. The right question is, ‘what would this character say here?’.
When a writer trusts his or her characters enough to speak for themselves, dialogue will read as more authentic to both that character and the overall story. The writer clearly has a grasp for pushing good dialogue.
SUMMARY
When We Were Gods goes deep and it should. This kind of story requires depth, but it also requires a subtle touch, a building tension that connects an audience to both the good and bad of humanity. The imagery here is solid. The writer really makes good use of the medium to visually impact the reader/viewer. The characters are meticulously crafted and arc very well.
We feel comfortable in recommending this script for the ISA Development Slate.
Thank you for the opportunity to read this strong and compelling story. We wish the writer well in all endeavors.
