Sabriya's Hope Writing Journal No. 15

 

Scenes/Beats for Final Battle of Sabriya's Hope

I'm finally there, at the granular level, not the structural or plot level, for the final chapter of Sabriya's Hope.

Although the online serialization of Sabriya's Hope is current at Chapter 22, it's only halfway through the novel. There are about 23 more chapters...depending on how I parse what is written. All of the chapters are written (or I should say drafted) except the Final Battle, which may stretch into 2 chapters. 

In the final battle (charted above), I need to resolve about 12 subplots; a few require only 1 beat to resolve. Of course, Sabriya's character's final resolution requires eight beats.  The challenge is how to do that efficiently so the reader can follow the action, much of which is simultaneous. 

My solution was to create one e-card for each beat of each of the 12 subplots on a Keynote slide. I DID NOT know what order the e-cards (and beats) should be in when I started, but as I created them, I placed them approximately in sequence from left (beginning) to right (end).

Then I had to sit back and try to envision the characters' entrances and exits, what happens to each, and move the cards around until I felt good about the action sequence as it would be explained in words. When I was done, I had 9 scenes (each bounded by a green box above).

Starting tomorrow (April 10, 2026), I will begin writing words and full sentences (not outlines). As I write, I'll decide which beats in each scene to describe first, second, etc., and then figure out the transition to the next scene. 

This will take several days, a lot of word-smithing, and many on-the-fly revisions. It may be 4,000+ words and need 2 chapters. Then I 'll let it sit for a day and come back and try to make the sentences more fluid, eliminating repetitive words, and working on ending sequences with emphatic (hooking) action. I will use One-Look Thesaurus extensively. 

SABRIYA Writing Journal 4: Writing Rules

I've started to write, after many weeks of planning and plotting. Now, the rules of writing, for me, will vary day-to-day. Not that the rules change, but because I'll forget them from one day to the next. Thus the critical need for rewriting and remembering the rules.

MY WRITING RULES:

The following assume I've taken the time to outline the story, and completed due diligence in researching the broader aspects of the era and characters—both critical writing tasks, which in this case I've done. The rules below are not about general research, planning or plotting (see Journal entires 1-3) but about stringing the words together for the first time.  

1. VISUALIZE FIRST. Take time to visualize the scene as if watching a movie. This may be the most time consuming thing about writing—NOT WRITING.
2. START OBJECTIVE. Every scene should begin with a paragraph from an objective or universal Point-of-View (POV) that describes the setting and characters in the scene with a disaster close at hand. By objective POV I mean the POV of someone NOT in the scene—the narrator—who can see everything about the scene, e.g. God's POV.
3. ONE POV. After that first objective POV paragraph, every other paragraph in a scene must be told from a single character's POV who is IN THE SCENE, perhaps the POV of the most emotionally conflicted character.
4. WRITE FOR IRONY. Every description, and perhaps line of dialogue, should contain an ironic comparison. 
5. WRITE TO TARGET. First draft not so much, but second draft must condense word count to the target number, OR revise the rest of the chapter or book so word count goal (overall) is observed.
6. WRITE ATTITUDE. Write with an emotional attitude that channels the POV character. Nothing in this word is clean and objective. Even God has an attitude and sometimes he expresses with with catastrophic results. Attitudes vary from sarcasm to sweetness, from retribution to forgiveness. Vary the attitude as you vary the POV. 
7. END ON CLIFF. Every scene ends with a cliff hanger described by Step 3 (the disaster step) of the Scene-Sequel structure pattern. In some cases this may be an objective, universal POV, like the first paragraph of the scene. (more on Scene-Sequel below)
8. RIGHT WORD. Never hesitate to take the time to find the right word, turn-of-phrase, or trope. (more on tropes below)

Scene-Sequel Structure Pattern

Writing in a Scene-Sequel pattern is method of structuring your writing at a paragraph, sentence, or micro level. If you deconstruct the best fiction writers' output, you will see it. I always start out writing a new project by following this pattern anally, by putting these hidden steps in Scrivener to constantly remind me. After a few weeks the pattern becomes almost automatic.

In every scene-sequel sequence there is a DISASTER that spurs the action forward (or in a new direction...a mini-turning point). Here's a diagram from my on-line workshop (Storycraft Training). An explanation follows.

Novel Scene-Sequel Sequence (simplified)

Running from left to right in the above diagram. (1) The protagonist has a physical GOAL to achieve. (2) The protagonist takes action to achieve that goal, and in so doing creates CONFLICT with the antagonist. (3) Because of the conflict, the goal is not fully achieved, resulting in a DISASTER. (4) The protagonist experiences an EMOTIONAL REACTION, which acts as a motivation to keep going. (5) The protagonist spends some time evaluating in his mind (THOUGHT) the DILEMMA faced, until... (6) The protagonist makes a decision about the next goal and takes the fist steps to achieve it. [And the process REPEATS starting with the new goal.]

Tropes

Using tropes in your writing is like writing with subtext—it keeps the reader intrigued and intellectually engaged.  Here is a summary of useful tropes copied from Google's AI engine.

Tropes are recurring themes, ideas, or literary devices used in storytelling. They can be categorized into various types. Tropes can be elements of character, plot, or setting, and they often reappear in different stories, sometimes becoming defining characteristics of a genre. 

Here's a breakdown of some common types of literary tropes: 

Metaphor: A comparison between two unlike things without using "like" or "as" (e.g., "Juliet is the sun"). 

Simile: A comparison between two unlike things using "like" or "as" (e.g., "Her smile was like sunshine"). 

Irony: A figure of speech in which words are used in such a way that their intended meaning is different from the actual meaning of the words (e.g., saying "Oh, fantastic!" when something bad happens). 

Synecdoche: A figure of speech in which a part is used to represent the whole (e.g., "wheels" for a car). 

Metonymy: A figure of speech in which one thing is used to represent something else with which it is closely associated (e.g., "the crown" for the monarchy). 

Hyperbole: Exaggeration used for emphasis or effect. 

Litotes: Understatement, often for ironic effect (e.g., saying "not bad" when something is actually very good). 

SABRIYA Writing Journal 3: Word Counts

I draft in Scrivener, which allows me to set target word lengths for each scene within a chapter.  Below I've expanded the Excel spreadsheet from Journal Entry No. 1, to calculate the word length for each chapter and scene, all based on the treatment. THESE ARE ALL TARGETS AND THEY WILL CHANGE, BUT THIS ANAL WORK  PROVIDES A FOUNDATION AND DIRECTION. The closer I stay to it, the closer I will arrive at my target book length.

The table below shows that there are 17 chapters of lengths 3250 to 4500 words. There are 63 scenes of lengths 500 to 4500, the 4500 scene filling an entire chapter (9). The average scene length being only 1143 words.  The final manuscript target length being 72,000 words.

The "0" cells compare two different ways to calculate the word counts so they add up to 72,000. If one of the "0" cells does not show a "0" I know one of my calculations is wrong. Notice the chapter breaks favor the length of the chapter and not the end of one of the 21 macro beats (grey).

The green lines represent the backstory, flashbacks discussed in Journal Entry No. 2— notice the FB scenes are very short, as flashbacks should be.

Everyday when I think through this stuff I imagine a revision to the treatment or micro beats. I make notes of those in the treatment, which I will be following as I write. In fact, when I write a scene, I'll copy the treatment paragraphs for that scene and paste them into the Scrivener document,  which gives me beginning copy for that scene. For instance just before starting this journal entry I copied the treatment paragraph for Chapter 1 Scene 1 into Scrivener. I have the target for that scene set to 1,000 words. The treatment paragraphs were only 275 words. That gets me going and I started to rewrite and expand.

Here's what the Scrivener Binder (left margin) looks like for the first four chapters and 12 scenes.

Each one of those 12 scenes (text documents) has a word length target set for it. As I write, a growth bar appears at the bottom of my manuscript page in blue. When I hit the target of 1,000 words the bar will turn green. If I go beyond 1,000 words the growth bar will turn red. After I pasted in the treatment paragraph to what I was calling Shenzhen (but it's changed now to Hong Chi) I edited the first sentence. The document was then 271 words of my 1,000 and this is what the bottom of the page looked like...

If I write 1,223 words it looks like this, meaning I'm over and must edit down, thus keeping me on target.

So, I have started to write, although I will stop often to research what I am writing about. My protagonist, in addition to being the glamorous Thai wife of the British consulate, is also a Wing Chun practitioner of some advanced skill.  Wing Chun is the mysterious and hidden form of Kung Fu developed by Ypi Man (1893–1972) who passed it on to Bruce Lee's who made the form famous. So, one of my research steps will be to watch the "Ip Man" Blu Ray trilogy...for the third time.

Ah, here''s my first sentence... I'm sure it will change:

In the dead of night thirty-three thousand taxi sedans and motorcycles jammed the streets of Hong Chi shuttled men and women from the crowded luxury shops in Chao, to the colorful nightlife in Yezong and the go-go bars of Qu Plaza, where hundreds of young women exposed their assets just a block from Assumption Cathedral in one direction and the stiff upper lip British Consulate in the other. 

A distant siren wailed.

SABRIYA Writing Journal 2: Plotting Tools

I have finished the preliminary plotting for my novel about Sabriya of Shanghai. Let me share what I've done in the last few days.

Steps 1-7: (discussed in blog post Journal Entry 1)  I constructed a slide in Keynote (4000 pixels x 2500 pixels) and divided the slide into 21 columns, each corresponding to the 21 macro beats of the story I intend to write. These would be the same 21 beats I'd use for a screenplay and are a reliable structure into which to drop particular story beats (or cards), a process called "breaking the story," i.e. I'm breaking down the story into relatable chunks, scenes, or events.

Step 8

Figure 1

Figure 1 shows how I parsed the formerly written movie treatment for Sabriya into 87 smaller beats, each closely associated with scenes. I'll end up with 100–120 such beats after the manuscript is written as many of the beats in the middle of the story (and above graphic) are summarized.

The first column of the above figure is the "Prologue" or back story that proceeds the present day beats. The events  in the Prologue are necessary to fully understanding the drama that unfolds later.  Years ago I considered that the prologue story could be told as flashbacks during the telling of the present day story. I imagine that withholding the backstory at first, and revealing it slowly through flashbacks will create additional intrigue. In story time there is perhaps a 10-year gap  between the end of the Prologue and the beginning of the next column known as "Life before" or the first half of Act 1. 

Step 9

Figure 2

I decided to disburse the prologue beats throughout the present day story as a slowly revealed series of flashbacks. So, I turned them green for clarity. Not very evident in Figure 2 is that I clumped the Prologue beats into six clumps each clump occurring chronologically close in time. Thus, the Prologue can be considered to contain just six beats. 

Step 10

Figure 3

I realized that that the structure template I'm using contains six natural turning point beats starting with (1) Act 1's Climax and the Threshold crossing into Act 2, and then (2) Pinch Point B, (3) the Moment of Grace, (4) Pinch Point C, (5) Act 2 Climax, and (6) Pinch Point D. [Pinch Point A is the same as the Inciting Incident in the middle of Act 1.]

Those critical turning points, or possible reversals, would be excellent places to tigger the flashbacks that reveal Sabriya's present day motivation due to her backstory. So, in Figure 3, I slid the six Prologue Clumps over those turning point columns. I am not sure what the present day action will be in Sabriya's experience to trigger her memory of her past, but figuring that out seems like a minor concern at this point.

I now have a structure that will create a great rollercoaster ride of action and emotion for the reader, and reveal the back story as motivations for the present day story.

NEXT I need to analyze the above beat structure to ensure the protagonist and antagonist actions are consistently and evenly applied along the through-line of the story—the rescuing of Sabriya's secret son from the boy's father, a leader in the S.E. Asia human trafficking trade.

AFTERTHOUGHT: By moving the prologue into six flashbacks, I need to redistribute the word counts, taking the 4-5 words reserved for the Prologue and assigning them to the turning point columns where the flashbacks will occur. 

SABRIYA Writing Journal 1: Can I Keep This Up?

Not sure if I'll be able to keep up this journal, but I'll try.  Writing a novel is a long affair and there are many interruptions, blogging being one of them and staring at a blank page another. There's a solution to both. Starting today I try to share how you can eliminate the latter, and strengthen your linear storytelling mind. The foundation of this is my book The Moral Premise and the extensive resources of this blog, my on-line Storycraft Training series, and years of  experience working as a story and screenplay consultant.

The novel I've started and which this journal will follow is Sabriya. It's the story of an elegant Chinese woman, a skilled practitioner of the hidden martial art Wing Chun, who marries a young British diplomat to Shanghai, then risks her marriage and scandalizing Her Majesty's Diplomatic Service when she creates not a little mayhem around Shanghai trying to rescue her secret son from his ruthless father who has become the chief of a human trafficking syndicate dealing in youth for labor, sex, and  harvested organs.

Step 1 - Pick a Successful Antecedent

Sabriya of Shanghai (SOS) was originally a treatment for a martial arts thriller movie set in S.E. Asia. I wrote it on spec for a potential client, but when he went in another direction I retained ownership. The antecedent for the treatment is Taken, the 2008 thriller written by Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen, directed by Pierre Morel, and starring Liam Neeson. Taken was so successful there were two equally successful sequels. So, I designed the beats of the new story on Taken but I made it different—I changed the location from France to China; I changed the male lead to female; I changed the kidnapped victim from a daughter to a son, and I changed the lead's expertise from a being secret spy to a secret form of martial arts.  

Step 2 - Select a Practical Medium

Having no money to make a film, and having written several novels, and non-fiction projects, it was time to transform SOS from a film treatment into a motion picture thriller.  The first question was, how long of a novel?   My three previous fictional efforts were 30,000, 57,000, and 372,00 words. I could not get traditional agents or publishers to consider the 372.000 project, and no one was interested in a novella. Agents told me 70K–90K was an ideal length. So, I settled (arbitrarily) on 72,000 words, knowing I'd go long. 

Step 3 - Structure - Use a Successful Structure

I will use a high-level, generic structure used successfully in long-form stories of all genres, and which has proved accurate in hundreds of box office hits and best selling novels. The structural sequence uses 21 beats for the through-line. I describe these beats in various places and detail elsewhere on this blog and fundamentally in The Moral Premise. The percentages and word lengths (based on 72,000) were calculated with the Excel spread imaged below. Thus, this level of detail decision making was not made arbitrarily. I will write the first draft in Scrivener who allows me to set word limits for each document—in this case each of the 21 major beats that vary in length from 1,00 to 5,000 words. 

Step 4 - Create Template for Carding (or Breaking) the Story Beats

Over the  years, I have set up structural templates on door walls with 3"x5" cards and masking tape, on large wooden folding closet doors,  painted walls with the pictures removed, on black landscaped 4 'x 8' Gatorfoam Board with Post-It Notes, on portrait 4' x 8' Masonite on wheels with Post-It Notes, and in Apple's Keynote,  which I am using on SOS. (image below)

I have come to prefer Apple's Keynote (Appel's answer to PowerPoint for Mac users like me), with a single slide dimensions set to 6000 x 2500 pixels.  I can type, transform, and copy Keynote cards faster than writing with a marker on physical Post-Its. When other people are in the room for a story meeting, however, one of the 4' x 8' boards works best with physical Post-Its—we can all see the beats at once, and anyone can jump up and make a change on the large board (or wall).

Below is the beginning of the story breakdown. Each "card" represents a scene, each column is one of the 21 macro story beats. 

For SOS I've chosen to break the story into columns from left (beginning of story) to right (end of story). The column widths (defined by white lines) are the relative duration of the beat. The image above shows the first 10 beats, with "cards" filled in for the first 4 beats (Prologue through Reject the Journey).  The numbers 4.5, 9, 15, etc are the running total of words (in 000s) to the end of the beat where they're placed. These numbers will differ from the Excel chart as I've changed my mind about some lengths.

Step 5 - Card the Story

The first (or left) column is the Prologue. I have created cards for each micro beat (or scene) of the treatment, and placed them in chronological order from top to bottom, whereupon the story continues in the next column (Life Before).  The row of short color cards at the top is my color key for different characters. If I want to place a card for a character that is not already on the board, I can option-drag one of the color key cards to copy the card, stretch it as wide as the column and start typing. You'll notice most of the cards have gradated colors—the first time I've used them. The top and bottom colors indicate the two principle characters that appear in that beat. I will continue to fill in this story board based on each beat present in the treatment.  

Each card above begins with a number, which is the line number of the earlier written treatment. See image with "greek" words.

Step 6 - Analyze the Structure

Why do all this carding of each scene on a board with the macro beats? First, the board will act as a living outline that will be open while I write the manuscript. Second, it's important that I study the outline before I begin to write and look for plot holes that need to be filled. I might ask, "Does the antagonist appear ubiquitously and frightfully?  The display and spread of colors will indicate the presence or absence of a character in each beat. In the illustration above Sabriya is light yellow and the the antagonist is red. If there is part of the story where no red grading appears nor light-yellow appears, I know immediately where and what I need to fix. For example, Sabriya should be present in 75% of the cards. Does she? If not, I need to broaden her appearance before I start to write. 

Step 7 - Fix the Structure Before Writing

Based on the previous step, I will make changes to the story board before writing. Knowing what's going to happen and when, allows me to expertly place foreshadowing and resolution information and scenes that deepens the intrigue and reader's enjoyment. 

That's where I am. Please post your questions and follow my journey. 

STORY FORCES

 

It's time to revisit the most basic concepts behind successful stories—the forces that make stories work. There are more sophisticated ways of diagraming the above, just search Google images for "story through-lines."  If you follow this blog you've see the following more complex renditions of "The 13/20 Roller Coaster Beats," or posts on how to intertwine subplots so they support the same plot.  The BASICS never change as I've tried to diagram above:

• NOBLE (or villainous) VALUES always drive the
• Protagonist's or Hero's decisions and action, that are always obstructed by an
• Antagonistic or Villainous force, in an effort by the Protagonist or Hero to always achieve a
• NOBLE (or villainous) GOAL

NOT diagramed above are subtleties critical to a cathartic story structure:

• Noble Values always reflect NEEDS required for human survival.
• Ignoble Values always reflect WANTS that lead to human destruction.
• At first the protagonist is often motivated by a WANT but... 
• Close to the story's midpoint (The Moral Premise's "Moment of Grace") the protagonist comes to realize the difference between their WANT and their NEED.  
• The protagonist may be a heroic or a tragic character (but always opposite the antagonist).
• The antagonist may be a heroic or a tragic character (but always opposite the protagonist).

The above diagram relates the never changing forces of a successful story. The above diagram is the most simple illustration of the through-line, the plot, the backbone, the theme, or the moral premise. But there can be sub through-lines related to various subplots, and all tied together with supportive themes, and Nicomachean Moral Premises. (I've blog extensively about all this before.) A story becomes interesting when the through-lines, plots, and theme are imbued with irony, motifs, red-herrings, and secrets.

For example, there can be, in one story the:

• physical through-line of the main plot
• emotional through-line of the central protagonist
• symbolic through-line of various 3-beat motifs
• thematic (moral premise) through-line of the protagonist
• secret through-line of information held back from the audience

But in the end there ALWAYS must be:

VALUES that motivate the PROTAGONIST to battle the ANTAGONIST in order to achieve an GOAL.

In a redemptive story the value and goal are noble and focus on a NEED.

In a tragic story the value and goal are scandalous and focus on a WANT. 

The are almost 400 posts in this free blog that discuss these issues. My book, The Moral Premise sets forth the foundation for all successful stories. My free Storycraft Training series dives deep into these topics. And I'm sometimes available for story/screenplay consulting on specific projects. 

Final Draft 12's Beat Board, Outline, and Script Insertion Function

 
You that follow the Moral Premise know I'm sort of a Story Structure freak. But then my Story and Script consulting clients encourage me. I have been continuously helping writers structure their screenplays, scripts, and novels since 2007... and I still enjoy it. (But then I'm being paid to do it. THANK YOU.) 

If you've rented or purchased lessons from my on-line Storycraft Training you also know how much I rely diagrams (graphic metaphors) for beating out a story and structuring it properly so it will emotionally connect with audiences. 

Over time I've come up with some fairly simply ways of beating out stories (on paper or electronic cards) and then copy-pasting the content of those cards into Final Draft for writing. It has worked well. 

Recently, Final Draft released Version 12 with an updated Beat Board, Outline, and Script Insertion Function that is very exciting. I've spent some time with it, and have begun to turn some of my recent clients onto its functionality. I'm not sure how "smooth" it works on PC's, but I'm on a Power Mac, and in my environment it has a ways to go so the operation and functionality are smooth and easy to use. But the ideas are very good, and I want to encourage writers to encourage Final Draft to keep working on this. 

So, as part of a new addition to my on-line Storycraft Training series, Lesson 11 - Visualizing Story Structure, I included a short video to introduce writers to what Final Draft is doing. You will find it below. I've used a bit of editing (Final Cut) to make this look smoother operating than it currently is, but with some encouragement I hope they get it polished. Please write Final Draft via Feedback and encourage them.

Here's the video.

REVISIONS: Your Story's Emotional Roller Coaster & Intellectual Balance

This is really a post about how to plan a REVISION to a manuscript once the first draft is complete. 

Successful storytelling requires that you keep your audience emotionally involved in the story.  Designing an emotional roller coaster and intellectual balance into your story's structure is critical.

Here is an example from a recent first draft novel effort  and what I did to approach the revision. The revision's goal was to ensure that the manuscript reflects a solid emotional roller coaster effect, and an intellectual balance of story elements.

Here are some of the story fundamentals:

 Title: Wizard Clip Haunting

Genre/Era: Historial Novel - 1790s

Settings: Maryland, New Orleans, Sailing Barque 

Themes: Persistence, Pride, Supernatural

First Draft Length: 186,000 words / 388 pages / 26 Chapters / 136 Scenes [Final Length: 372,000 / 803 pages / 54 Chapters]

Storylines: 2 Protagonists (Character A and B) 

Conflict of Values/Moral Premise Value Dipoles: Pride and Arrogance vs. Humility and Meekness (where Meekness is the quiet strength and persistence to do what is morally valid in correspondence with natural law). 

 

Questions for the Author:

1. Where can the draft be shortened?

2. Is there a regular emotional up and down to the story?

3. Is there a reasonable balance between the five elements that the author believes will make the novel interesting, educational, and entertaining? (i.e.) 

(P) Philosophical reasoning

(H) Historical description

(S) Story connections and plot

(A) Action

(D) Disasters

4. Of the four main character groups (A, B, C, D) how many words are given to each storyline?  (There are four storylines that converge at the end.) 

5. Where are the IDEAL turning points (pretending there is only one protagonist) and where are the ACUTAL turning points? Since this story has two major storylines and two significant protagonists, the ACTUAL turning points for each of the two story lines will not likely sit next to the IDEAL.  Which turning points or setups (to the turning points) need to be sharped with respect to the Conflict of Values and the Moral Premise Value Dipoles?

The Process:

There was no attempt for the analysis to be precise (e.g. paragraph by paragraph), but to give the author a general overview of the draft's flow (e.g. page by page). 

1. The draft was printed out without gaps for chapter gaps. (Scrivener thinks this is a 550 page paperback novel. To make the process more manageable for analysis, fonts, page size, and columns were manipulated to get manuscript down to 388 pages. 

2. In a few hours, the pages were manually scanned and the category of content for each page was approximated: (a) Philosophical Reasoning, (b) Historical Description, (c) Story or Plot, (d) Action, or (e) Disaster. A letter (P, H, S, A, D) was written in the margin of each corresponding page for reference in step 4.

3. In Excel a column was numbered from 1-388. (The chart at right has been turned sideways from the original excel plot. The YELLOW row contains the page numbers from 1 on the left to 388 on the far right.)

4. In the adjacent column the letters corresponding to P, H, S, A, or D were manually inserted. (See TAN row at right)

4. Using Excel's formula for "IF (logical test, true, false)" a number was inserted in the next adjacent column whereby P=1, H=2, S=3, A=4, and D=5. The numbers arbitrarily assign emotional levels to the different content, where Philosophical Reasoning pages might be the more boring (=1), and Disaster Descriptions are probably the more exciting (=5). (See GREEN row at right.)

5. Using Excel's "Insert Chart" function a bar chart was generated, and sized to line up with the three columns. (See the BLUE bar columns at right. The shortest blue columns represent pages deemed Philosophical in content. The tallest blue columns represent pages deemed descriptive of a Disaster.) The "Emotional Roller Coaster" we are after is superimposed as a red line atop the blue columns. 

6. In Excel using the "IFCOUNT" function, the number of pages principally deemed portraying each of the five content were summed:

Philosophical (P) = 27

Historical (H) = 43

Story/Plot (S) = 145

Action (A) = 102

Disaster (D) = 71

7. Using Scrivener, in which the novel was drafted, the total number of words in all scenes principally relating to the four principal character groups and storylines are:

Character A = 103,121

Character B = 65,086

Character C = 26,300

Character D = 5,493

8. Identify in the rows of the chart the IDEAL major turning points as if there is only one protagonist for the 388 pages: Inciting Incident: 12.5% = Page 48 // Act 1-2 Break: 25% = Page 97  // Moment of Grace (Mid Point) 50%  = Page 194 // Act 2-3 Break: 75% = Page 291 // Final Incident: 87.5% = Page 339.  (It may be helpful to also identify the ancillary beats between these major turning points.)

9. Label the major events (peaks and valleys of roller coaster) with specific descriptions of the Disaster, Significant Actions, and Internal Decisions by the main characters on the bar chart.

10. For each storyline, identify and label the ACTUAL turning points and ancillary beats IF they exist. (If they don't exist, you're going to have to create them in Item F below.) Hand note on the chart the turning points that need to be sharpened or added.

Action Items for Author to Consider:

A. Where multiple adjacent pages are the same emotional level, break up the flatness with pages that have a different emotional level, e.g. There is one section where Philosophical Reasoning and Historical Descriptions continue for 10 pages. This can be shortened (by deleting pages), or be made more interesting by Action or a Disaster pages. Exception: There is no need to lessen the emotional content of a major disaster that continues for 9 pages (one place), nor the ending which Action and Disaster pages dominate for 19 pages. ACTION REQUIRED. MARK IT IN THE CHART MARGIN.

B. There is one sequence of 30 pages where there are only 6 Action pages, 0 disaster pages, and 9 Philosophy or Historical pages.  P or H pages in this section need to be deleted or A or D pages need to be added. ACTION REQUIRED. MARK IT IN THE CHART MARGIN.

C. Review Story pages and see if many of them can be time compacted to shorten the timeline. ACTION MAYBE REQUIRED. MARK IT IN THE CHART MARGIN.

D. The ratio of PHSAD to each other is not bothersome. It's good that the slower elements (P & H) are by far the fewest. NO ACTION NECESSARY

E. The Character Groups and Storyline lengths (Items 7 above) are appropriate since the word counts depict the relative importance of each character and group, i.e. Character A is the close knit group that is or supports the Protagonist. NO ACTION NECESSARY

F. After the above actions are taken, examine the manuscript at the ACTUAL TURNING POINTS (see Item 10 above). 

(1) If the Actual Turning Points exist, wordsmith the manuscript to reflect the conflict of values with the characters struggle. Remember, all stories must logically follow a natural cause and effect. The causes in a story are the values that motivate the characters; in this story's case those values are PRICE/ARROGANCE vs. HUMILITY/MEEKNESS. The actions are what the characters do physically to fulfill their closely held values.

(2) If the Actual Turning Points DO NOT exist...create them...which will require your story plot to be manipulated. Do not fret about hitting the IDEAL turning points. Follow the organic nature of your storylines and put the actual turning points in the vicinity of the Ideal. 

Here's the chart after doing all the above. 

Next step: Revise the Manuscript accordingly. 

How to Plot a Long Historical Novel

I have successfully used this story plotting technique with dozens of my screenwriting clients. Movies, however, are much shorter than (long) novels.  So, to put particulars to the work flow, this post explains the plotting effort used to construct my long historical novel Wizard Clip Haunting (WCH).

THE SIX STEPS IN MY INSTAGRAM POST ABOVE reveals why I haven't been blogging recently. I've written or edited a number of books in my career but I had never written a novel. In  2014, after several drafts of a WCH screenplay I started to think seriously about ditching the screenplay and writing the novel. The research travel I was doing in a bid to improve the screenplay provided fodder that turned out to be much more interesting as a novel. For the movie script I was limited by time and words; and the actual historical events became more interesting the more I traveled and got to know the real-life characters. (The genealogical sites like Ancestry.com and Geni.com were very helpful).

I JOKE that when I have money I make a movie, and when I don't I write or edit a book. While I wait for one screenplay to gain some traction in L.A. (there are things a-foot) and while I wait for the last book to be printed in mass in China, and while the H U G E sailboat refit project is under winter wraps until late March....I dug out the novel effort, last worked on in 2013–2014. Every time I pick it up again, there's were more significant plot points to include.

ONE OF THE IRONIC "OBSTACLES" to completing long projects,  and which I always recommend it to story clients, is to read lots of material similar to what you're trying to write. In that stead, and for his novel project, Pam and I just finished reading aloud to each other Ken Follett's Pillars of the Earth. It was a great read. I felt myself getting emotionally involved with the characters, and even got a mild case of vertigo one night. None of that happens when I watch a movie. Movies are over toooo quickly. But Pillars, due to its length (about 400K words) can last for weeks on end, two hours every night. I was sure  reading and hearing Follett's cadence for words would help when I start revising and reading out loud my own work. (Update 2023 - Follett had an effective on me. The novel is finally done and released, and it's 372,000 words. Agh! Had to self-publish it under my distribution banner since no publisher would touch it. LOL!)

The image above is actually the carded plot of the novel. I've actually written about 50K words of it, but stopped to revisit the plot and fully card it out. Here are the steps I've taken over the last few years, weeks, and days:

1. Researched the historical events. There area a few short books and dozens of articles and references in history books of the period and event itself.

2. Used the Story Diamond to identify the 13 main plot points.

3. Wrote 3 drafts of the movie screenplay.

4. Got some good and some bad notes.

5. Let the story sit for a couple years as I went onto other projects.

6. Took two road trips to research the actual events and my imagined events. One to New Orleans and Pittsburg, and a second trip to Maryland, West Virginia and eastern Pennsylvania. Both trips were immensely rewarding in terms of discovering ironic "true to history" material, which widened the story's scope—fodder I could not include in the screenplay without turning it into a mini-series (a pitch deck for a TV series now exists.)

7. Poured over the hundreds of photographs and documents and books and interview transcripts collected on those two trips. Before I committed to writing the novel, I experienced frustration because all the good stuff I was discovering would not fit into a screenplay. 

8. Made another revision of the screenplay and pitched it a few time. No takers.

9. Let it sit for a few years...went sailing, etc.

10. About 8 years ago, I wrote a few chapters as a test of my novel writing skills. I wasn't satisfied. Put it aside again. Then, last month I read Dwight Swain's "Techniques of $elling Writers" and "Hit Lit" by James Hall (recommended by my friend "The Other Chris Pratt")  Both books revealed that I was doing a lot of things right, and they gave me the courage to take the novel seriously. So,  I re-edited those early chapters and wrote a few more, read them aloud to Pam. We both liked them.

11. The original Story Diamond was not geared for a novel, however, but for a movie. I also realized that the Diamond was not formatted (being in the diamond shape) to track subplots easily. For that I needed a WIDE horizontal surface. I have a vertically mounted 4'x8' Story Diamond on casters that I roll out for clients who come to my office for beating out a story. In that process we use a drawer full of colorful 3"x3" Post-Its. 

Stored behind the Story-Diamond-on-casters are a couple pieces of 3/16" black Foamcor I use for small set lighting (or blocking the light).  I got them out and set them side-by-side behind my desk, and opened the drawer of Post-It's. Now, I was able to break the story according to characters and subplots and keep each on its own colorful row. The picture on the left is 3/4 of the whole thing toward the end of the exercise. (I found the Post-It's stuck better once I dusted off the Foamcor. : )



But I was not going to be able to let this piece of Foamcor sit as a reference in the walkway behind my desk for the year it would take to write. And as more ideas came, I'd need to write out some detail notes that would not fit on the Post-It's. So I opened up Apple's Keynote, which I use for creating the slides for my workshops, and opened a new file that was 4,000 pixels (W) and 1,500 pixels (H) and recreated the Post-It plot board into Keynote. It took me a day to create the file you see here. Click on it to enlage.

Although I work on a Medium speed Mac Pro with two large displays (which I use to edit 2K and 4K videos) Keynote is not designed for such a large file. It claims to be only 451K (not big, really), but with this many cards and objects on a single large "slide" it requires some patience. The app only slowed down, however, toward the end. (I use Keynote as well for creating Story Diamond files but set the Keynote file and my monitor vertical.) Keynote is much better (on the Mac) for this sort of thing than anything else, including Power Point. It's very easy to create, color and align objects, and change the size of both cards and text in them. [BTW: these are TEXT boxes filled with color, not rectangles with text overlaid in them. Thus, there is ONE object per card to move and manipulate, not two.]

12. Once I got all the cards in place (along with a number of story notes (the cards with a lot of text on them), I grouped them with green rectangles to denote preliminary chapter groupings, with each card within a green rectangle being a scene or a sequel (see Scene-Sequel post). The light pink near the top row are my SCENE GOALS, and the dark pink are the SCENE DISASTERS. The SEQUELS are not always individually carded but are implied by the contents. The blue is the antagonist, and the other colors are minor characters. The white boxes at the top represent most of the 13 traditional beats of a story, and the yellow boxes are dates to keep the chronology in order—since this is a historical story that takes place over a 37 year period with both of the story taking place over just 4 years.

13. I write long form projects in Scrivener, as I did the first draft of this project's screenplay (I finish up screenplays in Final Draft and novels in MS Word). I love Scrivener's flexibility for moving text blocks around. I used the old screenplay file for the novel. While I have about 50K already written of the first chapters, I will now populate the Scrivener folders/chapters with the chapters designated by the green rectangles in the Keynote Card file, and identify the doc-files/scenes within each Scrivener chapter by the individual cards in the Card Plot file.

14. Finally, as I write in Scrivener on my right display, the Keynote card file will occupy my left screen, along with other writing aids like my favorite thesaurus: http://www.onelook.com/reverse-dictionary.shtml. Thus, I can keep updating the card plot as I write, and it allows me a bird's-eye view of the story, showing me how the scene I'm currently writing connects to the whole.

Blessings,

stan

GOD, THE GREAT "SADISTIC" STORYTELLER

GOD, THE GREAT "SADISTIC" STORYTELLER

(on how our lives are much like Sarah's)

by Yvonne W. Bao

For the last 14 years, Yvonne worked in Asia to fight against hunger and human trafficking. She has recently moved to Germany in pursue of a new life and career. I have had the privilege of getting to know her via email and Skype. She may guest blog here from time to time. (SDW)

It dawned on me that God is a great storyteller. By that, I mean, he certainly has the ability to spare us all the setbacks and suspense we normally experience as humans. He could just hand out to us whatever he has in mind in a blink of the eye. Didn’t he once simply utter: “Let there be…” and lo, there they were, the heaven and the earth and all that is in between. 

So, any delay in the deliverance of his promise is obviously not a matter of competency. Could it be one of discretion then? Perhaps he could have refrained from

No Irony No Story

http://www.storycrafttraining.blogspot.com