How to Kill a Bad Guy

 

Hans Gruber meets his fate in Die Hard

Mary Conneally (https://www.maryconnealy.com/) is one of my favorite authors.  Years ago (June 18, 2010 to be exact) we exchanged emails about her book "Petticoat Ranch" that I had just read. I was dissatisfied that she didn't draw-and-quarter the bad guy. But then I knew she could not, as she writes Christian Romantic Comedy in the Cowboy era. She's authored beyond 100 novels, turns them out like flapjacks at a church pancake breakfast.

So, she's limited in how she can kill the bad guys...I mean it's got to be a comedy suitable for Christian readers. Here's what she wrote to me:

I'm sorry I didn't kill Judd off, very bloodthirsty of you, but I know what you mean. I did stab a stake through his leg and I PROMISE YOU he was hanged, so rest easy. :)

I've killed a few villains in my day. Read Cowboy Christmas if you want a bad guy who is particularly dead at the end.  Deader than dead.

I've made two notes of how bad guys die in fiction, movies, books, whatever.

First is the 'Good bad guy' syndrome. The good bad guys tend to die while the bad bad guys go to prison. The moral there? Prison is worse than death???

And second, when the bad bad guy DOES die, you can judge how bad he is by the number of times he died.

• Shot through the heart. Bad.
• Shot through the heart, stumble back into an electric grid and be electrocuted, very bad.
• Shot through the heart, stumble back into an electric grid and be electrocuted, then fall six stories, very horribly bad.
• Shot through the heart, stumble back into an electric grid and be electrocuted, then fall six stories and land on a highway and get run over by a semi, miserably ugly viciously bad.
• Shot through the heart, stumble back into an electric grid and be electrocuted, then fall six stories and land on a highway and get run  over by a semi, which overturns and explodes...

Well, you get the progression.

Mary's email reminds me of the ending of James Bond and Indian Jones movies ... and Die Hard (the ultimate Christmas movie) where there always seems one-more villain, one-more time, who needs to be killed off.

How about some comments? What are the best ways to kill off a villain? Or, what movies kill off the same villain multiple times...please list the ways. We need to create a list of the Top 10 Villain Deaths.

Roller Coaster Action Scale and How Bad Scale.

I frequently write and talk about the importance of a logical and emotional roller coaster for a story's main spine. (See: http://moralpremise.blogspot.com/2016/12/emotional-journies.html). That is, how does the audience perceive the protagonist's (hero's) progress toward the visible, physical, and highly ironic goal.

On a logical level the roller coaster can be evaluated as to whether or not the protagonist is making objective progress or has experienced a set back.

On an emotional level the roller coaster can be evaluated in terms of the audience's fear for the protagonist's safety or eminent demise.

Often the two roller coaster "tracks" coincide.

One thing I have not talked or written about that much is how the heights and depths of the roller coaster track should escalate as the story continues, which is just the opposite of an amusement park's coaster, where the tallest hill is at the front. Your story's tallest hill and deepest valley should be at the end, the Climax in Act 3.  In my own writing I have taken the threats of the antagonist and listed them on a spreadsheet or scrap of paper and attempted to make sure that each successive threat was greater than the one before.

Here then is a generic list that will help you do that. I don't think I came up with it...found it on a Stickies' Note. Make up your own and create  your own for each story, and each subplot (arc) of each character's goal. If you came up with this list and sent it to me, or if I copied it off some other blog, please tell me and I'll give you credit. The higher the number the deeper the valley.

Action Scale for Roller Coaster Chart
0 establishing
1 transition
2 looks
3 friendly banter
4 debate between friends
5 talk between enemies - walk near enemy
6 threat threshold
7 slow chase - stalking
8 chase / threat of gun or capture
9 bullets fired
10 imminent death

Now here's another list like the above, sent to me by novelist Mary Connealy (http://maryconnealy.com/). Mary writes Romanic Comedy Westerns. Fun reads. Back in 2010 we shared an email thread in which she wrote this to my response after reading her novel, "Petticoat Ranch" (Barbour, 2006). I had complained that she didn't kill off the bad guy. This excerpt from her email will give you an idea of her writing. Love it. (Sorry, Mary, I didn't ask your permission to use this, but I think it's past the statue of limitations...and it's deliciously good.)

Mary writes: 

I'm sorry I didn't kill Judd off, very bloodthirsty of you, but I know what you mean. I did stab a stake through his leg and I PROMISE YOU he was hanged, so rest easy. :) 

I've killed a few villains in my day. Read  Cowboy Christmas if you want a bad guy who is particularly dead at the end.  Deader than dead. I've made two notes of how bad guys die in fiction, movies, books,  whatever. 

First is the 'Good bad guy' syndrome. The good bad guys tend to die
while the bad bad guys go to prison. The moral there? Prison is worse than
death???  When the bad bad guy DOES die, you can judge how bad he is by the number of times he died.

1. Shot through the heart. Bad. 

2. Shot through the heart, stumble back into an electric grid and be
electrocuted, very bad. 

3. Shot through the heart, stumble back into an electric grid and be
electrocuted, then fall six stories, very horribly bad. 

4. Shot through the heart, stumble back into an electric grid and be
electrocuted, then fall six stories and land on a highway and get
run over by a semi, miserably ugly viciously bad. 

5. Shot through the heart, stumble back into an electric grid and be
electrocuted, then fall six stories and land on a highway and get
run  over by a semi, which overturns and explodes...well, you get
the progression.